Day 5: Hafia & Pool Cues

Traveled to Hafia today. I'm starting to realize I'm a lot stronger than I thought. Foolishly, I forgot my camera battery, so I was walking around taking iphone pictures. Whatever can get the job done. Although, the intense tourists on the Bahai tour were a bit much. Pushing me aside with there big lenses.

More to say, but such sore feet. All shades of red and aching. But better than other parts of me, I suppose. It's nearly 3:00 a.m. I didn't get off the train until 1:30. Still the voyage was well worth while. I met Nir in Hafia and his friend Itai. We went for a game of pool. Where I played terribly, but not nearly as bad as Itai, who was making the ball fly in the air with each attempt and skipping it over the other pool balls. We went to an Irish Pub in HaCarmel. Such a relief after wandering the city for 8 hours. I never knew the hills of Hafia! I never knew there was a subway or about the Arab neighborhoods. I saw my first Santa Claus of the holiday season... Arab Christian Santas, complete with nuns dresses in white. All alongside people going to and from synagogue.

Started drawing. Kept writing. My notebook will be filled before I get to Jerusalem. There has been a lot to write about and think about. I don't think I wrote or even thought this much in a long time. I always had a crutch. It was still a beautiful relationship, but people have to get better. They need to know they need to get better. I think realizing I wasn't a good person to him sometimes was an eye-opener...

Made me realize what drugs can do.

What space can do.

What a world without a world can do.

What too much sadness can do.

What too much time in a room can do.

What it looks like to get stale.

And watch someone else go down.

A lot of weight. Hearts heal and I'm remembering that you only live once. Being reminded how young I am. Nothing is hopeless. Even if you have a soulmate, there are too many people in this mad amazing evolving world. Time to grow like all the flowers that lined the streets of Hafia and filled the gardens peeking up under barbed wire.

I have started collecting things from my days. Another goal. Not just writing or sketching or soul searching, but remembering why I'm here. The purpose of my travels. What I had hoped to do with him, and learning I can do it alone. Keeping in mind what a close friend said, to change my perspective of alone. But I can sound to false... there is still pain and wounds to heal. Still, it is good to keep moving.

Tomorrow Jerusalem.